'Is It Just A Coincidence?'
This latest lock down being at home and ‘not working’ I see all the domestic tasks to be done and it is like they are yelling at me to attend to them. I feel there is an expectation that as the Mother and wife in the household that when I am home I need to keep it all going, to the detriment of actually working on my business even though I am not IN it as I would be in a ‘normal week’.
I feel there is a pressure to keep it going, like that is how I can bring value to the day, that it is expected of me, but I know that NO ONE else in the family has this mindset, I know as I have asked them. So, it is my mindset, which I have established from the ancestry pattern of my Mum and her Mum before her. I watched and felt my mum do this and now, although I know it is not occurring the same in my family, I feel that pressure still inside of me.
I was sharing with my daughter, early in the day on Thursday, that I am not the only one to tidy up and although everyone is not their usual more motivated self, others need to ‘do’ things around the house, not just leave it to me or someone else or for later. Now just to put it in perspective my family do a fair bit, as I was always certain that I would not be like my Mum and get angry and frustrated and tired and feel I had to do it all and become exhausted and feel unrecognised for all I did.
That afternoon I went to the beach to get out of the house and go for a walk, then at the furthest point I could have walked, I slipped off a rock and twisted my ankle, so by the time I walked back to the car, my ankle was well and truly swollen, painful and out of action.
So……., did I manifest this sprained and swollen ankle, that now I can’t stand or put any pressure on or was it just a coincidence?
Is it a coincidence that what I was really wanting…… to be able to work on my business, sit still long enough to get things done without feeling guilty, not continually being available, feeling obligated to ‘do’ things actually physically presented in my life, and at this very time?
Did I Manifest It?
Here is what I think……… I think there are no coincidences and maybe in this weird way I did create (manifest) it into my life. What I do know is, I need to continue to break that old pattern of what I ‘do’ being where my value or worth is found and continue to connect with accepting me for ‘being me’. Speak up early, have a conversation and get clear expectation for myself and from others. Create flow rather than it becoming an act of having a limiting physical condition being the thing that creates the change.
Here is the thing…. now everyone is ‘doing’ those things I was doing and no one is really inconvenienced by doing them. They are supportive, yet now rather than the weekend being a time we could be and do things together, I’m now out of action.
Have you had a similar situation occur in life? Can you see the pattern or belief that needs changing?
Take a few minutes to sit with it and see how you can set yourself up for being valued ‘being you’, for being heard and supported without having something else intervene which you really didn’t want either.
If you would like support to get clarity around the patterns or beliefs that you may still be playing out so you can create awareness and change to create something different in your life, I can support you with that.
Please feel free to connect with me, Sonja on 0407 558 216, sonja@innerpurpose.com or InnerPurpose.com.au to book a session directly.
To Our Healing Always
Until next time we connect
Big Love and Hugs
Sonja xo
With Love & Gratitude Sonja Leon Inner Purpose
Awaken your Inner Happiness, Be the Light for yourself & others
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