Being A Mum Is A Big Gig
It has taken a long time to write a blog on Mums, although it is something very close to my heart. It is also one of the main areas I support woman along their own healing journey, healing the relationship with their Mother (or Mother-in-Law), the Mother Wound.
To heal the Mother Wound we have to heal the hurt we felt from our relationship with our Mum, the one where we didn’t feel loved, acknowledged or included, accepted and cherished for just being ourselves.
If this doesn’t heal, it often shows up again when we have our own children, as we try so hard to ensure that our children don’t feel what we felt. We give and give and try to make everything ok and feel like we never do enough for them; we feel depleted, exhausted, low self-worth, invisible, overworked, and never have time to fulfill our own dreams.
The role of a Mum is a big gig and we often see ‘Mums’ as a Mum first and person second. Someone who ‘should’ love us unconditionally, because we are their child. The thing with this, is the way a child wants or needs love is not always the way a Mum can offer it. It is a good reminder at this point to remember ‘We can’t give what we haven’t got.” It doesn’t dismiss that this is what the child still wanted and needed and can’t understand all this logic at such a young age, but as we get older it can help us to understand it and allow compassion to build toward our Mums and ourselves and support the healing process.
I remember my Mum always rushing and trying to get everything done at home, and when she did work away from the home as well, when we were older, she was still doing the same…rushing. My Dad went to work, walked the dog and then his day was done. So, there was not much time for love and cuddles with Mum, as Mum was DOING a lot and not BEING who she wanted to be as she really wanted to love and cuddle her children too, but with so much to DO herself, it was hard to fit in the ‘nice to haves’ too. Many families had a similar set up in their household to mine, it was how it was....
Ask Often... 'How Am I Going '?
The thing that can make the difference which doesn’t happen often enough is asking ‘How are you going (Mum)’?
To be honest this question really needs to be asked by the Mum herself, (in the past, I’m sure Mums really didn’t feel they even had permission to ask this question, it was just ‘get on with it’.) It is not the role of the child to parent the adult, it is up to us as people first and Mums second to ask ourselves or seek support in a way that engages others to get on board (not help as if it is still your job, rather acknowledge what needs to occur and take action also). The key is to ask often, ‘How am I going’? ‘What do I want to BE’? ‘What step do I need to take to start on the journey I DREAM about’? Let go of the old stories and connect with really honouring being ‘self’ first, as well as a Mum. Let our children witness their Mum living their dream as that is what they will follow and believe and the story they will play over in their head. Showing up in a way that brings an inner glow, so as to truly fill your own cup of everything you would like for yourself and also offer others too. Well done Mums for all you are and all you do. May your journey find love and compassion and fulfillment for yourself and may you also find it for your Mum too, if this is something you have been seeking to heal within yourself too. A lovely way to acknowledge your Mum is to say 'Thank-You each time you see or think of her, even if you say it in your head. It can be very healing and change the conversation you have about her or enhance it for you. May you have a lovely Mothers Day, however you celebrate the Mother Energy on the day. If you would like further support in healing the 'Mother Wound' or you feel stuck emotionally about something else..... Please just reach out, connect with me, Sonja 0407 558 216 or book an appointment at InnerPurpose.com.au Until Next Time Big love and hugs Sonja xo
With Love & Gratitude Sonja Leon Inner Purpose
Awaken your Inner Happiness, Be the Light for yourself & others
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